(Or, why improperly used apostrophes make me twitch)
I judge people by their grammar.
Run-on sentences, improperly placed apostrophes, the incorrect use of their, they're and there, lack of capitalization and punctuation — they all make a little part of me shrivel up and die each time I see them.
Unfortunately, proofreading is part of my job at the newspaper and therefore, I'm about 75 percent shriveled up and dead (inside) every time we're finished with an issue.
•••
I'm not going to blame schools or teachers for the alarming decline in grammar. I'm not even going to blame texting or instant messaging.
No, I think most people just don't care about the rules of grammar. After all, if someone can get his point across without straining to remember archaic elementary school lessons, why bother? What difference does it really make if I write "Its sunny outside today" or "It's sunny outside today" — either way, you know you should probably slather on some SPF.
•••
I am not a great conversationalist. I'm about 50 times better on paper than in person and about 100 times more comfortable with written communication than oral.
I would so much rather e-mail someone than talk on the phone.
So that's how I know proper grammar and correct spelling are extremely important. Whether you're trying to make a good first impression or communicate a point cogently, people are going to judge you by how you write.
It's not really any different than what happens when you communicate in person. What you're wearing, how you sound, how you gesture — all of these factors play into the impact your message has.
When you communicate via the written word, you don't have any of that. If you encounter someone like me — and I'm truly sorry for this — she will be more likely to dismiss what you have to say if it's disfigured by bad grammar, no matter how valid your points may be.
•••
If you know me personally, you'll know I'm really not a jerk. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, bad grammar notwithstanding. I do know that bad grammar doesn't mean the writer is an unintelligent person. (The Captain, for instance, is not a stickler and yet I love him and respect his agile mind.)
But I can't always control my initial reaction to bad grammar. It's part of who I am to appreciate a well-crafted sentence, and conversely, a badly-constructed one causes me intellectual pain.
•••
I realize writing this sort of thing exposes me to hyper-criticism and that's OK. If I walk the walk, I'll be vigilant about my own grammar and if I make a mistake, I'll appreciate the feedback.
In the end, my goal is to be the most effective communicator I can be. It's not everyone's goal, though, and I'm learning to accept that.
If you find this entire subject distasteful and think I'm kind of a snob for harping on it so much, let this simple rule be your takeaway: When in doubt, don't use an apostrophe.
Just (don't) do it.
For an amazing chart that's funny, informative and slightly irreverent, go here:
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