Saturday, June 30, 2012

I'm but a stranger here


Details from the brickwork on our 1880s-era home.

I'm but a stranger here,
Heav'n is my home;
Earth is a desert dread,
Heav'n is my home.
Danger and sorrow stand
Round me on every hand;
Heav'n is my fatherland,
Heav'n is my home.


I'm But a Stranger Here
T.R. Taylor
The Lutheran Hymnal, Hymn #660

As much as I love my earthly home, I know this is only temporary. 
The things that trouble me here fade into nothingness in the light of eternity.
This Sunday, I thank God for the perspective that comes with the knowledge of His grace.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Brielle's birth story

My babies, they are punctual. I say it's because their mama is a journalist; they learn in utero to stick to a deadline. 

Stormageddon, our second child, was due May 29. I didn't expect to be pregnant until then; our 19-month-old daughter kept me so busy during the pregnancy, I figured Stormy would just sort of want to join the excitement early. 
The four of us for the first time!

But May came and went with just the odd contraction here and there. I went for a prenatal visit on Friday and after checking, my doctor said there was no significant dilation and we planned for another visit in a week. 

On Memorial Day, Jim decided it was time to take matters into our own hands. So after playing with Evangeline in the park for a while, we hit the country roads and tried to find the bumpiest ones. It must have worked, because by the time I went to bed that night, I was feeling the faintest of contractions. 

In the morning, I laid in bed for a while to gauge how the contractions felt. Sure enough, they were there — infrequent, but undeniable. Since they weren't strong, I decided to go into work. It was our Memorial Day/ alumni reunion issue at the newspaper and frankly, it's kind of a pain-in-the-butt edition, especially since it has to be turned around to meet the printing deadline on the same day.

So I designed pages and edited copy in between contractions. My co-workers apparently didn't notice I was having them, because once the paper was done and sent to the printers at 2:30 p.m., I announced I was going home for lunch and I probably wouldn't be back because I'd be having the baby. 

I'd called my mom earlier in the day to let her know I was in labor, so she drove the 2.5 hours to watch Evangeline. She and Jim were keeping themselves busy when I got home. I had a quick, light lunch and took a shower. By this point, my contractions were about twice every hour, lasting about 30 seconds. 

Miss Brielle, one day old.
While I was showering, our pastor stopped by for a devotion for our soon-to-be-born child. I could tell Jim was getting anxious to go to the hospital (my labor with Evangeline was fast and furious), but I welcomed the opportunity to focus on something other than labor. At about 5:20, Jim and Mom said "OK, we're going to the hospital. We don't know what you're going to do, but that's our plan." I was maybe being a little bit stubborn at this point … 

But we loaded up and headed to the hospital, a 15-minute drive away. By the time we got there, my contractions were about 5 minutes apart and growing increasingly stronger. We got to the hospital at 6 and by 6:30, they determined I was 3.5 centimeters dilated. The nurses told me if I wanted an epidural, they would have to call the on-call anesthesiologist, who lived 45 minutes away. I said I really didn't want one, but maybe it would be good to have her there just in case. 

My contractions got more and more intense within the hour. The nurses called my doctor, who was golfing (it was a gorgeous day for it), and he came in around 7:30. After checking me, he said "Well, this baby is definitely going to be born soon. The only question is whether it will be on May 29 or 30." 

At this point, I really couldn't handle the pain much more and when they asked if I wanted to call for an epidural, I said yes. I thought if I had to deal with that level of pain for several hours, I wasn't going to make it. 

As it turns out, I didn't have to. My doctor had broken my water when he checked for dilation, and I quickly began to feel the need to push. Jim was by my side the whole time as I bellowed and panted and screamed my way through contraction after contraction. It kind of sucked, actually. 

God bless her, a relatively new nurse was trying to keep the fetal monitor on the baby this whole time. Though the other nurses were in the birthing room, they didn't truly grasp how close the baby was to being born until around 8 p.m. They quickly realized it, however, as my screams grew louder and they started to get prepped.

My doctor was called to come down ASAP. They offered me some Stadol (sp?), which I agreed to, not knowing how much longer it would be. I started to feel the baby's head moving down, and then Jim started saying, calmly (given the circumstance), "Baby, there's the baby, the baby is coming," repeatedly until a nurse flew over to the bed, just barely with her gloves on, to pick up our newborn daughter. She was born so fast, Jim was actually the one to announce we had a girl. 



My doctor arrived in time to deliver the placenta and stitch things up. I had some tearing, which was not as bad as when I had Evangeline, and anyway, it's hard to stress about it when you have the delight of meeting your child. 

So that's how my daughter, Brielle Edith Kirk, came into our lives. She weighed 7 lbs., 11 ozs., and has the most beautiful dark curls. As much as Evangeline resembles her father, Brielle looks like me. She nurses well, for which I am extremely thankful, and sleeps well. Last night, she slept for almost five hours. Yay Brielle! 

Life with two under two is bound to be stressful at times, as I'm sure many of you mamas can attest to, but I'm looking forward to raising my two girls to be women after God's own heart.




Sister love! 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Take flight

Getting dressed these days is a challenge. My clothes have to accommodate a post-partum figure, plus be easy for nursing. In addition, it's summer here and it's HOT, not to mention I'm also chasing a busy toddler. Oh, and I also want to look kind of cute, too. 
That's not too much to ask, right? 

So here's what I wore Wednesday: 


Cardigan - Gift from my mom
White camisole - Yard sale 
Long black shorts - Local consignment shop
Kenyan feather necklace - Ten Thousand Villages
Black flats - Payless


I'm not crazy about how this outfit photographed (I think it's cuter in person), but I had to get back on the thrifty outfit posts wagon sometime!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

A new name for a new chapter

To the five people who regularly read this blog, you'll notice I've changed from "Lutheran Thrifty Mama" to "Kirkhaven," and here's why.

I restarted this blog last year with the intent to post about my thrifted outfits and home decor. But as I continued to write, the focus expanded to include my thoughts about motherhood and journalism and life. So, as I start a new chapter of life with two children under two (I'll be sharing about the birth of our second daughter soon!), I wanted the blog title to better reflect what can be found here.

As our life changes (still no update on Jim's job search; we'll keep you posted when there's something to report), home is our sanctuary from uncertainty. It's a port in the storm, a shelter ... our haven. I'm not the world's greatest interior designer (we have yet to repaint the walls in our house; it's been four years ... yeah), but I believe that a happy home is more than the things inside it.

So there really won't be a lot of changes. I'll still have thrifty posts (now that I'm out of maternity clothes, it will be a lot more fun!) from time to time, plus my weekly newspaper column and other vignettes from our thoroughly Midwestern life.

Right now, I'm operating on about three hours of sleep per night, so the inspiration well is running a little bit dry. I hope that won't deter you from visiting every once in a while ... and to bribe encourage you, here's a picture of my sweet girls: