Learning to trust

This morning as I measured out my decaf blend into the coffeepot, this verse popped in my mind. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your path." 

Proverbs 3:5-6

It seems I am learning many life lessons this spring. In February, I learned to ask for help. In March, I learned to appreciate good health. In April, I am learning to trust.

So here's what's up with us: After four years, Jim resigned from his teaching position. That might not sound like a big deal; after all, people switch jobs all the time. But for us, it's life-changing. 

He's been struggling with this decision for the past year and a half. Together, we prayed and sought guidance from our parents, close friends and most importantly, God. To say there have been many tear-stained (me) and sleepless (Jim) nights in our house is a gross understatement. This decision has hung over us like a gloomy specter for a long time and it was not reached easily. 

But after watching my husband fade into a shadow of his former self, losing weight from stress, losing confidence in his teaching abilities, even questioning his value as a person, I know this is a Godly path. He does not give His children more than they can handle, but He also gives us the wisdom to know when He needs them elsewhere.

So what's in store for us next? Only God knows. 

I struggle with this tremendously, especially with the knowledge that our second child is due to join us in less than two months. I pray for a smooth transition  into a comparable teaching position for my husband. I pray for understanding from the members of our congregation and from the parents and students at the school. But what I pray for with trepidation, as my human fear and need for control asserts itself, is the faith to trust and wait for what God's will is for us.

I know it might not be the answer I want. I know our lives may change drastically. I know I will struggle with impatience while we wait. 

But I also know that God has provided for us in the past. 

My first job out of college was at a mid-size daily newspaper in Oklahoma. After six months and a flooded apartment, my homesickness for Nebraska could no longer be tolerated. Within a month of deciding to move back home, Jim was extended a call to teach at a rural Lutheran school in Northeast Nebraska. He traveled to our soon-to-be home to look for houses for rent. There weren't any available for rent, but one seller was willing to work out a rent-to-own deal with us. Within three weeks of moving, I had a job with the local newspaper. 

In two months, we went from one of us being gainfully (and miserably) employed in a state 700 miles away from our family, to both of us working in our chosen fields, in our soon-to-be purchased home, just two hours away from my hometown. 

If Jim had taken a call right out of college instead of helping me to build my resume, I wouldn't have had the experience to get the job I love today. Our home wouldn't have been on the market when we were looking for a place to live. We wouldn't have had the financial stability to make starting a family a (relatively) stress-free experience.

God provides and His timing is perfect.

As Jim pursues new teaching opportunities, please keep us in your prayers. Pray for doors to open, for opportunities to present themselves, for wisdom to know God's will and for patience to wait for His timing. 

(I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the tremendous amount of support and encouragement Jim has received from community members throughout his teaching career. His decision is not a reflection of the quality of the school or the dedication of its parents and students. The school has been a place for children to receive an excellent Christian education since the 1880s. I will always be an advocate for this school.)