Scripts

Good morning. How are you? What's up? Beautiful day, isn't it? I'm so sorry for your loss.

As unscripted as I'd like to think my life is, we live by them. I play through the same conversations daily, with Jim, with my co-workers, with friends.

Crazy weather we're having. How about those Huskers?

But for all that, I don't think it makes our interactions any less sincere.

Just as the liturgy breathes comfort into my heart each Sunday, so too scripts help stabilize our lives.

Life is full enough of uncertainty. We don't know what the future holds. Heck, I don't even know what the next hour has in store. And that's exciting, but at the same time, it's unsettling.

So to have some continuity is a relief. I am exhausted by the end of each day, after completing all the tasks associated with work and keeping my home, after tending to the needs of my husbands and pets, after carefully monitoring the moods of everyone around me and biting my tongue so often it's bruised.

To know I can greet an acquaintance or friend and start the conversation with, "Hi, how are you?" is a balm to my often-anxious mind.

It's just one less thing to think about.

•••

"If there's an empty space, just fill it in with another line, even if it's from another show. That's what I do."

-Waiting for Guffman

On comfort

Is it OK to be comfortable?

Growing up in an evangelical Christian home, I learned to equate comfort — particularly spiritual comfort —with complacency and stagnation. 

Which was OK, because during high school, college and early married life, I wasn't ever comfortable with life. It was happy (or at least something resembling happy), but there was always so much turbulence I couldn't settle down. 

Dealing with existential questions was, quite frankly, the least of my concerns.

But now. Oh now. Things are different.

I'm — brace yourself — comfortable. 

And I'm not sure if that's OK.

•••

Because I know how fleeting life is, I want to be reconciled with happiness. I know it's short-lived and I should appreciate it while it's here. But I can't shake the feeling I don't deserve it. 

(Which, theologically speaking, I don't. God's grace is sufficient for me, and I trust in Him to forgive my sins.)

After moving four times in a year, changing jobs twice and meeting endless new faces, I'm ready settle down. But while I'm happy with my life right now, I wonder: Is this all there is? Will I ever advance in my career, in my education, in my life? Or is this as good as it gets?

I like the comfort now. But what if it's not enough in a couple of years? Where do I go from there? 

Blogging before church

Busy weekends are a mixed blessing, I think. I enjoy them, certainly, but as far as rest is concerned, that's in short supply.

I've heard this statement more than once: "Ah, you're young. Live a little - it doesn't last forever."

Yes, and it will last a little less of forever if I don't get some sleep.

I am a grumpy-pants when I'm tired. I'm not proud, but it's true.

On a more positive note, though, this weekend I:

• Caught up with a college friend whom I hadn't seen in a year;

• Shared a lovely cup of cafe au lait with my sister; 

• Enjoyed delicious cajun-style chicken and shrimp with my aunts; 

• Had another yummy cup of joe with said sister and aunt; 

• Saw a melodrama and visited a town I'd never seen before;

* Took some photos (nothing like a good photo to make this girl happy);

• Had good conversations with Jim (among other activities ... ); 

• Saw "Up" - very good;

• Caught some fireworks; 

• And later today, I'll go to church and then go to a cast party on a lake.

Sooo ... really, it's been a wonderful weekend. 

I'll sleep when I'm old.

Well, who do we have here?

The kittens speak

Me: Kittens! Tell the world what's on your mind.

Rosie: g,jkkg'ipo90j-hyg78f]ofp 

(Translation: Run! Eat! Snuggle! Sleep! Poo! Chew on Winston! Yay!)

Winston: jholexdclb'/dflsksxo99ifkjsxk;/

(Translation: I absolutely do NOT want to be doing this. Put me down now or I'll poop in your shoes.)

Two years ...

Rustler's Revenge

Do you think I should sign? 

And as God is my witness ... 

I will do no more harm!

Sign the papers, or I'll shoot!

We live happily ever after ...